Dad's Advice

I recently had the double pleasure of attending my nephew's wedding. I say double pleasure because a) it was a happy family gathering that united two young people about to begin their journey through life together and b) because it wasn't mine. I wouldn't have the energy.

In the Narthex of the church, my sister-in-law created a display of wedding photos of both sets of grandparents and parents. Boy, we were all young then! And thinner with darker hair ... with hair. Seeing my little brother's wedding photo reminded me of a piece of advice our Dad shared with us at the time. Chris was the last of us three boys to get married and it was at his reception, that Dad called us together. He wanted to speak with his three sons. As we stood before him, watching his face, Dad placed a hand on the shoulders of my brothers and looked each of us in the eye. Then he spoke with fatherly authority.

"Your mother and I want you boys to know that we love you and we love the women you've chosen to marry. Don't come home!" Then he patted us on the shoulder, turned, and headed for the punch bowl. I didn't know what to think at the time, but I never forgot his words.

Over time, I realized what he meant. He knew there would be times in our marriages when we would be unhappy. He knew that marriages are tempered by hard times like steel is tempered by fire. When times would get rough for us, quitting and running 'home' to mommy and daddy was not an option. We were making our own homes and we were expected to make it work.

We did. No one in our family has been divorced or even separated for four generations. My older brother is celebrating his 50th anniversary this year. My hot chick wife and I are working toward 45, and little brother and his wife are celebrating their 40th this year. Good advice, Pop. Thanks.

Royal Dun