Most people wouldn't, but it's possible to make an Internet inquiry about how many birds there are living on the planet. The answer is an estimated 100-400 billion. In addition, according to Melanie Driscoll, a biologist and Director of Bird Conservation for the Gulf of Mexico and Mississippi Flyway for the National Audubon Society, about 5 billion of them die every year in the United States.
In spite of what my outdoor compatriots may tell you, I consider myself normal. I notice large flocks of blackbirds flying around in the autumn sky, so I assume other people do as well. In addition, there are birds flying all around us in the trees and bushes. They visit our feeders by the dozens. So, the other day, I was watching a large flight of geese fly over me in several V formations and I wondered ... why don't we ever see a bird fall out of the sky from a heart attack, stroke, or old age?
Oh, I know. You're going to tell me about the 2011 Beebe, Arkansas incident on New Years Eve when some 5000 blackbirds mysteriously fell out of the sky around 11 PM. Turns out the birds were apparently migrating over Beebe at the same time the city fathers set off the town's New Years Eve fireworks.
Its not that the city fathers bagged all 5000 blackbirds, but apparently, the shock waves from the blasts either knocked the birds unconscious or discombobulated the birds' sense of direction and attitude. In their attempts to come out of an explosive tail spin, they flew into wires, smoke stacks, towers, and tall buildings. I'm telling you this so when the sky lights up over Prentice N. Largefonte's camp on the opening day of grouse season, you'll know why.
Royal Dun
Friday, October 31, 2014
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
Expectations
Last October, Muddler Mike introduced me to electronic cigarettes. Turns out is was a less expensive alternative than tobacco, especially since I never smoked at home. Well, the last electronic cigarette I purchased lasted over 6 months, so I reached the conclusion that I had quit smoking. This spring, I let Muddler know how upset I was with him.
"I don't drink to excess and I don't womanize. Now that I don't smoke, I'm damn near perfect and people are beginning to have expectations of me!" I said in exasperation. Muddler remained expressionless and took a drag on his e-cigarette.
"None of us have any expectations of you." He said as he exhaled a cloud of water vapor in my direction.
"I don't drink to excess and I don't womanize. Now that I don't smoke, I'm damn near perfect and people are beginning to have expectations of me!" I said in exasperation. Muddler remained expressionless and took a drag on his e-cigarette.
"None of us have any expectations of you." He said as he exhaled a cloud of water vapor in my direction.
Sunday, June 8, 2014
Late Night Fishing
The other night I told my wife that my fishing buddy and I would be fishing the hex hatch on the North Branch and we would be late, but I promised to be home by midnight. Well, we fished for hours, then sat in the darkness to rest. We were thirsty, and we were tired from wading, when he broke out his bottle of Bombay gin. We headed for home long after midnight.
Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the front room started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly realizing my wife would wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times, then sneaked into bed. I was quite proud of myself for coming up with a quick-witted solution, considering the influence of that evil drink.
The next morning, my wife asked me what time I got in, and I told her midnight. She didn't seem disturbed at all. I figured I got away with it. Then she said we needed a new cuckoo clock and I asked her why.
She said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed 3 times, then said, "Oh, crap," cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, belched, and then cuckooed 5 more times before tripping over the cat".
Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the front room started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly realizing my wife would wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times, then sneaked into bed. I was quite proud of myself for coming up with a quick-witted solution, considering the influence of that evil drink.
The next morning, my wife asked me what time I got in, and I told her midnight. She didn't seem disturbed at all. I figured I got away with it. Then she said we needed a new cuckoo clock and I asked her why.
She said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed 3 times, then said, "Oh, crap," cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, belched, and then cuckooed 5 more times before tripping over the cat".
Royal Dun
Monday, June 2, 2014
The Loss of Bill
Bill is a cherished friend. He was the president of a local fly anglers club when I lived in Baltimore. He was one of those fellows with the charisma to get people involved, so I joined the club and eventually served on the board of directors with him. Bill also “drafted” me into serving on the board of directors for the Mid-Atlantic chapter of The Federation of Fly Fishers. He was also active in The Brotherhood of the Junglecock, a national youth organization dedicated to perpetuating the sport of fly-fishing. Bill was an entrepreneur and owned his own business. He retired after 20+ years in the National Guard as a warrant officer, one of those senior non-commissioned officers who knew how to get things done.
By the late 90’s, Bill’s health was beginning to fail due to diabetes. Eventually, he stopped smoking, but it was too late to prevent his health from deteriorating. The first thing to go, that I remember, was a numb foot that prevented him from wading the rocky-bottomed streams of Maryland and Pennsylvania. After I left the East Coast, I returned a couple times to fish with Bill and some other friends in north central Pennsylvania. The last year that I was able to make the annual trip, Bill was too ill to come. His health was so frail that he was afraid to be far away from a medical facility and the nearest one to our cabin was over 45 miles away, nearly an hour and a half by car in mountainous roads.
I still am in contact with Bill, occasionally by telephone, but most often through emails. Bill still has his same sense of humor judging by some of the YouTube videos and other stuff he sends to me. Bill has also become a fervent devotee of the Tea Party movement and he frequently “pummels” me with tea party propaganda that he finds on the Internet.
Sometimes, I scan the material, consider it poking fun at the president (which is a great American pastime protected by the 1st Amendment), grin, and simply delete it. Other times, I go to Snopes.com to qualify the claims. Sometimes I reply to his Tea Party pap with the Snopes link and a subject line that says “The Truth”. I try to strike a balance with this because I do not want to lose a friend over fanatical propaganda.
What increasingly disturbs me are the contemptible, offensive lies being spread by these people. Only 30 seconds of research enlightens me about the unmitigated bile being distributed by Tea Party fanatics. It is my opinion that President Obama and our congress’ efforts are not evil, just sometimes naive, misguided, or poorly implemented … and sometimes they are spot-on.
Our nation has always overcome naive, misguided policies and poorly implemented ideas. Always. However, the adulterated lies being sent to millions of people via the Internet are truly evil. They defile our great nation and the people that make it great when they are different from themselves. These lies destroy our ability to hold meaningful discourse. Thinking for ourselves is the only weapon we have to defend our nation against the ignoramus’ among us.
So ignore the Tea Party. Ignore the Republicans. Ignore the Democrats. Consider all political ads as outright lies, because they are. Every single political ad is a lie full of half-truths and innuendos. If you hear something that you do not like, there is no doubt you are hearing a lie.
Even those ads that do not throw mud at the opponent, hide the shortcomings or the weaknesses of the candidate being supported. If a candidate sounds too good to be true, they are lying to you. Stay informed. No one can defeat an educated, informed populace.
The last time I spoke with Bill, he was on his Tea Party stump, the gist of which was how President Obama was tearing apart the constitution and turning us into a socialist, if not communist, nation. When I questioned some of his statements or asked for examples, he said I was just “an Obama guy”.
That seems to be a typical ideologue response these days. When their ideas can’t hold up to valid questions or logic, they label and attack the person. Listen for the attack when someone wants to discuss the issues.
When I hung up, I had tears in my eyes. I have seen my friend lose his physical health and now … now he has lost the ability to think for himself.
Royal Dun
By the late 90’s, Bill’s health was beginning to fail due to diabetes. Eventually, he stopped smoking, but it was too late to prevent his health from deteriorating. The first thing to go, that I remember, was a numb foot that prevented him from wading the rocky-bottomed streams of Maryland and Pennsylvania. After I left the East Coast, I returned a couple times to fish with Bill and some other friends in north central Pennsylvania. The last year that I was able to make the annual trip, Bill was too ill to come. His health was so frail that he was afraid to be far away from a medical facility and the nearest one to our cabin was over 45 miles away, nearly an hour and a half by car in mountainous roads.
I still am in contact with Bill, occasionally by telephone, but most often through emails. Bill still has his same sense of humor judging by some of the YouTube videos and other stuff he sends to me. Bill has also become a fervent devotee of the Tea Party movement and he frequently “pummels” me with tea party propaganda that he finds on the Internet.
Sometimes, I scan the material, consider it poking fun at the president (which is a great American pastime protected by the 1st Amendment), grin, and simply delete it. Other times, I go to Snopes.com to qualify the claims. Sometimes I reply to his Tea Party pap with the Snopes link and a subject line that says “The Truth”. I try to strike a balance with this because I do not want to lose a friend over fanatical propaganda.
What increasingly disturbs me are the contemptible, offensive lies being spread by these people. Only 30 seconds of research enlightens me about the unmitigated bile being distributed by Tea Party fanatics. It is my opinion that President Obama and our congress’ efforts are not evil, just sometimes naive, misguided, or poorly implemented … and sometimes they are spot-on.
Our nation has always overcome naive, misguided policies and poorly implemented ideas. Always. However, the adulterated lies being sent to millions of people via the Internet are truly evil. They defile our great nation and the people that make it great when they are different from themselves. These lies destroy our ability to hold meaningful discourse. Thinking for ourselves is the only weapon we have to defend our nation against the ignoramus’ among us.
So ignore the Tea Party. Ignore the Republicans. Ignore the Democrats. Consider all political ads as outright lies, because they are. Every single political ad is a lie full of half-truths and innuendos. If you hear something that you do not like, there is no doubt you are hearing a lie.
Even those ads that do not throw mud at the opponent, hide the shortcomings or the weaknesses of the candidate being supported. If a candidate sounds too good to be true, they are lying to you. Stay informed. No one can defeat an educated, informed populace.
The last time I spoke with Bill, he was on his Tea Party stump, the gist of which was how President Obama was tearing apart the constitution and turning us into a socialist, if not communist, nation. When I questioned some of his statements or asked for examples, he said I was just “an Obama guy”.
That seems to be a typical ideologue response these days. When their ideas can’t hold up to valid questions or logic, they label and attack the person. Listen for the attack when someone wants to discuss the issues.
When I hung up, I had tears in my eyes. I have seen my friend lose his physical health and now … now he has lost the ability to think for himself.
Royal Dun
Monday, May 26, 2014
Semper Fidelis
By December of 1969, Congress was desperate for more cannon fodder to sacrifice on behalf of Nugyen Van Theiu, the President of Viet Nam. So they instituted a draft lottery and I won third place! My lottery number was three. At the time, I was in college studying sororities and my grades were suffering consequently. I was a prime target for the draft.
In January of 1970, Uncle Sam let me know that my student deferment was revoked and I was reclassified 1-A. I was going to be in the army in the very near future. The only control I had over the circumstances was to deny Uncle Sam his draft and enlist in another branch of service. Because I was enrolled in college, the Air Force would put me in a deferred enlistment program, allowing me to finish my semester of college and report for duty in August 1970. I signed up.
Near the end of that semester, one of my fraternity brothers, Kent, returned home on leave from the Marines. As it turned out, his sister was getting married the week after he was to supposed to report back for deployment to Viet Nam. During our discussion, he mentioned that the Marines would extend his leave by one week, if he could recruit another person to sign up. I told Kent I would go sign up for him and I did. The recruiter arranged for Kent's extended leave, and I signed up to be a Marine ... on the delayed enlistment program.
Kent attended his sister's wedding that summer of 1970. By the time the Marines came looking for me, I was already serving in the U.S. Air Force. Like so many people, I lost touch with most of my college friends. My career took me all over the eastern states. Not long ago, I returned to my home town to settle into retirement. I recently ran into a former fraternity brother and we began thinking about a reunion. That's when I found out, 44 years later, that Kent never made it home from Viet Nam.
Today is Memorial Day, 2014 and I cried thinking about Kent and the other 58,000+ men and women who died in Viet Nam. However, I have never been more proud of outsmarting Uncle Sam in 1970.
Semper fidelis, Kent. Semper fidelis.
Royal Dun
In January of 1970, Uncle Sam let me know that my student deferment was revoked and I was reclassified 1-A. I was going to be in the army in the very near future. The only control I had over the circumstances was to deny Uncle Sam his draft and enlist in another branch of service. Because I was enrolled in college, the Air Force would put me in a deferred enlistment program, allowing me to finish my semester of college and report for duty in August 1970. I signed up.
Near the end of that semester, one of my fraternity brothers, Kent, returned home on leave from the Marines. As it turned out, his sister was getting married the week after he was to supposed to report back for deployment to Viet Nam. During our discussion, he mentioned that the Marines would extend his leave by one week, if he could recruit another person to sign up. I told Kent I would go sign up for him and I did. The recruiter arranged for Kent's extended leave, and I signed up to be a Marine ... on the delayed enlistment program.
Kent attended his sister's wedding that summer of 1970. By the time the Marines came looking for me, I was already serving in the U.S. Air Force. Like so many people, I lost touch with most of my college friends. My career took me all over the eastern states. Not long ago, I returned to my home town to settle into retirement. I recently ran into a former fraternity brother and we began thinking about a reunion. That's when I found out, 44 years later, that Kent never made it home from Viet Nam.
Today is Memorial Day, 2014 and I cried thinking about Kent and the other 58,000+ men and women who died in Viet Nam. However, I have never been more proud of outsmarting Uncle Sam in 1970.
Semper fidelis, Kent. Semper fidelis.
Royal Dun
A 21-Gun Salute to Our Veterans
Today is Memorial Day, 2014. Across the street from my home, there is a community cemetery, and every year, our township hosts a small parade and ceremony to honor those citizens who have fallen while defending our nation. We sometimes forget that our military is mostly comprised of our youngest and strongest citizens. Our nation's young men stand and take their turn to defend our nation as I did when I was their age.
This year, the band played the anthems of all the branches of military, the local dignitaries gave their speeches, and someone read President Lincoln's Gettysburg Address. Finally, a National Guard squad fired off a 21-gun salute. They did not do it properly.
Very few people, including veterans know how to execute a proper 21-gun salute. We have become accustomed to seven men or women in uniform firing three volleys of seven shots, but a proper 21-gun salute is comprised of four volleys.
The first volley is a single shot. One rifle firing the first shot of a new nation born in defense of individual freedom. Two volleys of seven shots come next to represent stability and unity of all. The fourth volley of six shots represents the missing man volley in honor of those who gave their lives for us. All together there are 21 shots:
Enjoy your family today. Your freedom to do that has been purchased by many young men and women who will never have the same opportunity.
This year, the band played the anthems of all the branches of military, the local dignitaries gave their speeches, and someone read President Lincoln's Gettysburg Address. Finally, a National Guard squad fired off a 21-gun salute. They did not do it properly.
Very few people, including veterans know how to execute a proper 21-gun salute. We have become accustomed to seven men or women in uniform firing three volleys of seven shots, but a proper 21-gun salute is comprised of four volleys.
The first volley is a single shot. One rifle firing the first shot of a new nation born in defense of individual freedom. Two volleys of seven shots come next to represent stability and unity of all. The fourth volley of six shots represents the missing man volley in honor of those who gave their lives for us. All together there are 21 shots:
1 ... 7 ... 7 ... 6
Enjoy your family today. Your freedom to do that has been purchased by many young men and women who will never have the same opportunity.
Royal Dun
Monday, March 31, 2014
Bad News
It happened. I turned 65 years old and went to the doctor for my first Medicare checkup and received some horrible news. I was 10 pounds over the weight limit for my float tube!
Well, I'm working desperately to address that situation, but its going to be very difficult to save enough money for a bigger float tube by opening day.
Royal Dun
Well, I'm working desperately to address that situation, but its going to be very difficult to save enough money for a bigger float tube by opening day.
Royal Dun
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